Take these 5 steps to diffuse stress

Email newsletter - September 8, 2020

Marcia’s Leadership Q&A

Marcia answers leaders’ questions. Send your questions to md@mdaszko.com.

Q. The past six months has been overwhelming, and I feel like I’m sitting on a powder keg of stress at home and at work. I’m going through the motions to do what needs to get done. How can I diffuse my stress?

A. You’ve taken Step One—you are aware that you are holding your stress inside. There are multiple and quick ways to release the stress and get you to a healthier place mentally and physically. There are also many resources (articles, books, music) to support you.

Step Two is to make a mental decision to make changes. Commitment is essential. If you want different results, you must take different actions.

Step Three is to make a list of ways that you can try to take care of yourself and diffuse the stress. You might feel that time and personal space is in short supply (and it is), but everyone has 24 hours in a day. Think about your ideal day and work toward that.

Carve out time during your day for three deep breaths (in through the nose for 4 seconds, out through the mouth for 5+ seconds; you can do this in the shower or when you’re driving.) Take a few minutes at the beginning and end of the day and think about or better, write down what you are grateful for (it might take one to ten minutes.) If writing is an outlet for you, keep writing and let your ideas flow.

Step Four is to take your list of activities and schedule them. Alone or with family, schedule time to eat (not at your desk), take a walk preferably with nature, read (to a child), choose one of your hobbies and sports and do it. Self-care with sleep, healthy eating, and exercise are your foundation. 

Step Five is ask for help: a partner, a colleague, a neighbor, a friend. If you need a free hour or evening, ask for help so you get some space. Then offer to help someone else.  Build your support community at home and at work. Be creative. The more you adapt to challenges, the easier life flows.

Q. My team is in slow motion. What do I do to motivate them?

A. First, there is a decades-old assumption that you can motivate others! Leaders don’t motivate others. Leaders create the environment where people are self-motivated! Repeat that! That’s where the power is! Managers may try to motivate people with fear, incentives, quotas—and it may work for the short term, but it’s not healthy or sustainable. If your team is slow, assess your own leadership.

How do you inspire, teach, develop, give them challenging work, show respect, and give gratitude? If you want your team to hasten their pace, are you clear about the purpose of the work? Do you continually communicate with the team and ask them what ideas they have to improve the work and connection with the customer? Are you creating the workplace where people can learn and work TOGETHER? If you have departments and silos and they don’t communicate, you’re on your way out of business. It’s time to pivot your thinking and your leadership. Action starts with you, in leadership.